Love. It’s the heart of the Christian faith, and yet, for many of us, it’s one of the hardest things to practice—especially when the people we’re called to love keep hurting us. We know that love is central to who we are as believers, but let’s be honest: loving those who hurt us, especially when they don’t admit their wrongs, can feel impossible. Sometimes, we want to lash out, hurt others with our words or actions, or even withdraw altogether.
But what if our love—real, Christ-like love—wasn’t just a feeling, but something much deeper? What if it was a measure of how well we understand the love that God has for us?
The Definition of Love: A Reflection of Ourselves
In 1 Corinthians 13, we find one of the most beautiful and challenging definitions of love. It says that love is patient, kind, and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. But what if we replaced the word “love” in that chapter with our own name? Would it still hold true?
Let’s consider it:
"[Your Name] is patient, [Your Name] is kind. [Your Name] does not envy or boast. [Your Name] is not proud. [Your Name] does not dishonor others. [Your Name] is not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs."
Now pause and ask yourself: Does this feel like your love in action? If not, why is that?
The Struggle of Loving Those Who Hurt Us
As believers, we are called to reflect the love of God to others, especially when they hurt us. And yet, we often struggle with this. It’s easy to love those who love us back, but when someone betrays us, hurts us, or refuses to admit their mistakes, it becomes a real challenge.
Why is that?
It’s because love, in its truest form, is not something that comes naturally. Love is sacrificial. Love is patient. And more often than not, love doesn’t demand an apology before it gives. Love doesn’t wait for someone else to make the first move. True love, the kind that mirrors God’s love for us, is a choice. It requires humility, grace, and sometimes, the willingness to look beyond our own hurt.
But when we choose to love—when we lean into God’s love—we mirror Him. The more we reflect on how much God loves us, the more we are equipped to love others, even when it’s difficult.
Why Is Love So Hard?
Here’s the reality: It’s hard because we’re human. We want justice. We want to be right. We want others to admit when they’re wrong. But God calls us to something greater. Love is not about getting back at people or seeking revenge. It’s about showing others the love that God has shown to us, even when we don’t feel like it.
And that’s where we struggle. We don’t always feel like loving someone, especially someone who continues to hurt us. But love, in its purest form, isn’t based on feelings. It’s based on truth. The truth that God loves us unconditionally, even when we fall short.
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul writes that “love endures forever” (1 Corinthians 13:8). This is a love that doesn’t stop when things get tough. It doesn’t fade when we don’t feel like it. Love endures because it’s rooted in something deeper than our own emotions—it’s rooted in the very heart of God.
Cultivating God’s Love Within Us
So how do we cultivate this love in our lives? How do we nurture the kind of love that allows us to love the unlovable, to forgive the unforgivable, and to endure the hurt? The answer lies in our relationship with God and how we engage with Him.
1. Have God Encounters
The first step in cultivating love is spending time with God. Love is cultivated in the presence of God. The more time we spend in His presence, the more we experience His love. This could be through prayer, worship, or just sitting in silence before Him. When we encounter God, we encounter His love. And when we encounter His love, it becomes easier to love others.
Scripture on God’s Presence and Love:
"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
God delights in us, even in our brokenness. He rejoices over us with singing, and when we encounter this truth, it changes everything. We are loved beyond measure. When we know this love, we can then pour it out to others.
2. Spend Time in the Throne Room of God
Sometimes, we need to let our imaginations run wild with the beauty and majesty of God’s presence. We need to imagine ourselves standing in the throne room of God, basking in His glory and experiencing the depth of His love. This isn’t just for dramatic moments—it’s a way to connect with God and let His love transform us. Meditating on God’s love and His greatness has a powerful way of reshaping our hearts.
Scripture on the Throne Room of God:
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)
We are invited to approach God’s throne confidently, knowing that we will receive mercy, grace, and His love. This is where we are transformed—by experiencing His love firsthand.
3. Meditate on Scripture
One of the most powerful ways to cultivate God’s love is through meditation. Meditation isn’t just about thinking deeply; it’s about immersing ourselves in God’s Word and allowing it to change us from the inside out. Take a verse, or even just a snippet of a verse, and think about it throughout the day. Write it down. Sing it. Ask questions about it. Let it sink deep into your heart.
For example, let’s meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud…”
As you reflect on each characteristic of love, ask yourself: “Do I show patience? Am I kind? Do I envy others? Do I boast?”
Write these questions down, and let them serve as reminders throughout your day. As you focus on this passage, your heart will begin to align with God’s definition of love.
4. Engage with God Daily
Cultivating love is an ongoing process. It requires daily engagement with God, whether that’s through worship, prayer, reading Scripture, or just sitting in silence with Him. The more time you spend with Him, the more His love will flow through you. And the more His love flows through you, the easier it will become to love those who hurt you.
The Mind-Blowing Truth: God Loves Us Unconditionally
God is powerful, yet He is not afraid to cry out to us with love, even when we are lost or far from Him. Song of Songs beautifully reflects this intimate relationship between God and mankind. He speaks of us as His beloved, and we are invited into this loving exchange. In Song of Songs 2:14, God calls to us, “Let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.” Even when we stray, God, with all His power, is not ashamed to cry out for us. His love is relentless. He is passionate about you, not because of anything you’ve done, but because He created you for Himself.
God knew us before we were formed. In Jeremiah 1:5, God says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” He held our spirits in His heart before we even left heaven for our mother's womb. This love is not just the love of a Creator—it’s the love of a Father who knew us intimately before we were even born.
We have all seen the face of God, and that is why we recognize true love. His love is what we must reflect to others.
Conclusion: Love Is a Choice
Loving others, especially those who hurt us, isn’t easy. But it’s possible. God doesn’t ask us to love out of our own strength. He calls us to love because we’ve experienced His love. And when we focus on that—on how deeply God loves us—it becomes a little easier to reflect that love to the world.
Remember, love endures forever. When everything else fades, love remains. The love we cultivate through God’s presence, His Word, and our encounters with Him is the kind of love that endures. It’s the kind of love that can heal hearts, restore relationships, and transform lives.
So, let’s choose love today. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s the very thing that will make all things endure—forever. We can love because He first loved us, and that is the most powerful love there is.
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